Boundary... Or Request?

Are you setting boundaries with your children, only to be ignored? Or are you actually making requests of them? This is such a common area of confusion amongst parents, but the good news is that once you know, you know!

Picture the scene: your child is jumping on the bed when they really should be putting their shoes on and getting ready for school. You say 'Could you PLEASE just stop jumping on the bed and come and get your shoes on?'. This is a request. You have asked your child a question, and any time that you ask a question you run the risk of them answering you with 'no'. You might get angry with their 'no' which is very confusing to the child as to them, their 'no' is just as valid as if you had asked them if they would like a drink. So when you then get cross with your child for saying 'no' this time, that can be really confusing for your child. So, how do we solve this?

We can implement a boundary!

You can tell your child: 'You need to stop jumping on the sofa and come and put your shoes on.' If they don't do this the first time that you tell them, you can then say: 'I'm going to come and help you off the sofa and take you to put your shoes on'.

By implementing this boundary you are creating forward motion to enable your child to follow your instruction.

It's a tiny tweak that makes a massive difference! For more tips like this that will have a huge impact on your entire family, why not book a 1:1 Behaviour Consultation with me? Click here for more details.